my makeup is amazing.

what i use? well, yess gave me a gift card from what some girls call 'Disneyland for women,' yes Sephora.

Sephora foundation and power, brushes, MAC blush and lipstick. it feels good to be a girl.

at the end, you do miss some people.

late at night, after seeing girl on girl and guy on girl shows i realize [peculiarly] that i miss somethings and some. 

I miss kyle and hanging out with him because mr. silver brought out, and brings out, the cool in me. i miss having this hot, real and cool guy next to me at stores and on rides home. 

I miss genre on monday nights because dancing made me feel cool, and coolness doesn't reach me often.

I miss the wednesday nights me and hector used to share once a week.

I miss shooting, and i have a feeling it misses me.

I miss my dad, but that should not be new.

I miss extensions, but i might get some tomorrow.

I miss the feeling before stress and credit cards and bank accounts, and even my emma.

and i miss albert loving me so much.

who  ever reads this, i am being completely honest.

you are faded

As a whole. You are departing. I see you standing with a boarding pass to Prague, or is it Paris? You look nervous and mysterious, and green. I cannot stand this mystery because i feel like a fool. Fools make bad friends and great lovers, i am no love fool. I hate the feeling that drags me in every time i call you, and every time i see you surrounded by many people. I feel like a frozen popsicle stick on a hot summer day. I feel like some stupid kid will try to eat me yet fail and accidently drop me on the floor, and i will be seen atop the black rusty cement melting into different shades of red and orange. But aside from this or anything else i can say about the things that are so wrong, there is so much more that i fall for. In person, you are all that i hate, but in Person you are all that i love. My wish at the other end of my index finger tip is that you love me forever. No matter what you do, in the end, i will let mine go because those are the kind of people we are.

i rather drink a cup of tea on Christmas Eve

I bought a bag of lollipops today at target for $2.49, and i put them inside the seven gifts i wrapped, bagged and put inside boxes. Spending the eve at my best friend's house turned out to be surprisingly awkward. Don't get me wrong, the tamales were great and the champurrado was warm and thick (my favorite), being with my second to third family was memorable and the gifts were great. But, yes that BUT . . . In the mist of tore up gift wrapped paper, pajamas and "Merry Xmas, ILY" text messages, i suddenly realized that i am not meant for Christmas. My family stopped putting up a tree a long time ago. Every year i try to fight my mother, but after this year's Christmas eve (it is not yet daytime) i think i have learned my lesson. Earlier today i told Chuyont happy birthday, but it is not his birthday, but it makes sense. "I just wanna be okay, be okay, be okay." Cheers to the end of Christmas and end of this sucky (yet life-changing) year. This is the end, but a new beginning awaits.


-Sound, Shakers and Margaritas.