Even before seeing
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, I knew it would have the perfect Hollywood ending. And I was right, it did.
The handsome Matthew McConaughey plays Connor Mead as the heartless, yet charming womanizer whom has the edge of being a professional photographer. The downside to this Mead character is that deep inside he is still in love with the girl of his childhood dreams—Jenny Perotti, (Jennifer Garner). Having said that, Jenny is also, and still, in love with him, even after he ‘broke her heart,’ one morning that he did not wake up next to her.
The two haven’t seen each other for quite some time, but come face to face with each other, and their feelings, during the wedding rehearsal of Mead’s younger brother Paul played by Breckin Meyer. Being the womanizer that he is, Mead drinks one too many cups of straight scotch and makes it clear for everyone that love is a theory, and that marriage should become illegal. It is unclear if the ghosts began to appear because Mead was too drunk, or just too careless about where his life was going as a heartbreaker.
Mead engages on a number of unrealistic trips in the company of women ghosts, all taking his through a certain time of his life—past, present, and future. Emma Stone gives a comical performance as the ghost of the past, Allison Vandermeersh. Allison becomes Mead’s escort through some of his fondest past memories. Memories of heartbreak; Jenny decides to dance with Pete Hastings—some jock kid—instead of Mead, and he runs out feeling desolate, and into the car of his uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas). Memories of wisdom; Uncle Wayne decides that it is time to teach Mead how to avoid heartbreak and thus creates him into a womanizer like himself. Advice like, “the most powerful one is the one that cares less.” And so, Mead lives his bachelor life through those very words, until he comes face to face with his future and sees Jenny getting married to another guy. This shakes Mead to the very core because he believes that she was always suppose to be with him.
All the while that Mead is going through the stages of life, problems are occurring in the present, and Paul’s bride-to-be discovers that Paul slept with one of her best friends, and decides to call off the wedding.
The next day Mead wakes up and makes it his business to save the wedding, and he does because he wakes up a completely different person. A person who is ready for marriage and who believes in love. And here is the Hollywood ending; Mead saves the wedding, gives a heartfelt toast to the bride and groom, and gets the girl of his childhood dreams, Jenny.
Mark Water’s film Ghost of Girlfriends Past was okay, but not. It was funny, but not really. It was a love story, but it wasn’t. It was, however, a false advertisement of what womanizers’ like Connor Mead can’t obtain—a clean slate.
2 stars